New Vacuum Cleaner

So I bought a new vacuum cleaner. It’s so awesome! What kind of person gets excited about a new vacuum cleaner!

I’ve been the total consumer since I moved here. When I came to my new apartment, there was nothing. Nothing. The first thing I bought was a chair to sit in. $50 at IKEA. I had ordered an air mattress online to sleep on so at least I had that.

There is an awesome dollar store and a Goodwill store one block from my apartment and I have bought most of what I have at those two places. That and IKEA. Little by little, I have forks and knives and plates and cups and a can opener and ice cube trays and a lamp and a rug and pillows and a love seat and a chest of drawers and a night stand and a TV, pots and pans (yes I literally didn’t have a pot to piss in!), broom, dust pan, everything…a mattress and box springs. Little by little, one thing at a time. Ridiculous to have to be buying the most basic things at my age. Ridiculous and sad and expensive. Why don’t they have “divorce showers???” That would have really helped. Instead I had to go out and get all this crap by myself, walking through tears and holding my breath to keep from sobbing.

Some things I’ve had delivered, some I’ve ordered online, some i’ve schlepped home in my car and hauled up to my apartment. I bought a $50 handcart at Office Depot and boy has that paid off. It’s portable and collapsible and I keep it in my car. I get it out of the car in the garage and unfold it. Then I arrange whatever heavy shit I have on it and roll it to the first elevator. I go up one floor in the elevator, get off the elevator, where I have to swipe into an exterior door and get into another elevator. I go up one more floor and roll about 300 feet down two hallways to my apartment. Then I unpack whatever i bought, which usually comes packed in voluminous amounts of cardboard and plastic wrap. Then I have to schlep all the cardboard and plastic wrap back down to the garage, (two elevators) and put it in the recycle bin. It’s all a tremendous ordeal.

I still need a blender. And a mirror.

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